If you’ve visited AussieRulesBlog before, you’ll probably have an inkling what’s to come. If not, strap yourself in!

January

A quiet month contemplating whether Brendon Goddard could make an impact.

February

The Federal Sports Minister and sundry hangers on make the biggest, most over-hyped announcement since God’s dog was a puppy — the “blackest day” in Australian sport.The Bombers make a shock announcement. They’ve been using supplements. They are pretty sure they’re on the side of the angels, but not 100%. They call in the AFL and ASADA. Instant media speculation has James Hird, David Evans and Ian Robson spotted supping with Satan and drinking the warm, fresh blood of new-borns.

March

Football media do a convincing impersonation of Salem witch trial-style frenzy

April

Fevered media speculation and demands from some “journalists” that the three key Bombers stand down apparently influences the AFL’s Chief Executive to muse about Essendon’s coach standing down. The Essendon players rally to win unexpectedly against the eventual Grand Finalist Dockers and proceed to show their utter disdain and hatred for their coach in the after-game celebrations.

Against the odds, the Bombers continue to win. The Australian Colander League — sorry, that possibly should have been Football — begin an attempt on the Guinness Book of Records title as the worst plumber in the world. Certain “journalists” sell what’s left of their souls.

May

Quite a lot like April.

June

Different day, same hyperbole and speculative nonsense.

July

Yep. More. Getting boring now. Bombers start playing shit football.

August

The Australian Colander League decide to impose draconian penalties based on an interim report. The Bombers are placed in the stocks in the public square and other clubs and their supporters invited to find anything rotten to throw at them. The Bomber players rally in a game against the second-most-hated enemy, mere days before being told they will not play finals, and win one of their most famous victories. In the after-game celebrations the players again show their utter hatred for their coach, who has allegedly used them as science experiments.

September

Hollow feeling. The Hawks, darlings of the syringe set only twelve months previously, take out the big dance.

October

Media report suggests a mass exodus of players from Windy Hill. Disturbing reports each week of more Bomber players signing new contracts.

Australian Colander League informs club medical officers that a dozen clubs had supplement programs, didn’t know enough about what the supplements were, didn’t properly record administration of the supplements and didn’t properly guard against employing shonky chemists BUT had NOT brought the game into disrepute.

Australian Colander League sets new record by pre-releasing the 2014 fixture on a one round per day basis.

Not quite as expected, mass exodus from Windy Hill occurs as Bombers more to new training and administration base at Tullamarine.

Yeah. Bonza year.

Footnote: Who would have thought that Caaaarlton would be the second most-hated enemy. Probably not the warrior priestess for truth and the Australian Colander League way. What? Us, bitter? Not half!!!!

We confess we’re surprised that the 2013 AFL Trade period has seemed, from our vantage point at least, a much more human and player-friendly space than prior years.

Players who wanted to move seem to have been able to engineer changes. Clubs who wanted to move on players seem to have been able to do so. Only the McEvoy–Savage trade seemed to be a surprise.

AussieRulesBlog wasn’t a fan of the free agency process initially, but we think we need to adjust our thinking.

The Chinese Water Torture that is the release of the 2014 AFL fixture continues at snail’s pace.

We’re all big kids now. We can take it, shocks and all . . .

It’s not the greatest look when details of the upcoming 2014 AFL fixture are leaked in dribs and drabs and appear under certain “journalist’s” by-lines.

Just release the damned thing. We don’t have to be softened up for every announcement.

So, twelve AFL clubs conducted supplement programs AND lacked appropriate governance procedures AND could not adequately define the supplements involved AND had flawed selection processes for support personnel.

We assume that this means the 2014 AFL Final Series will commence in March with six or seven teams competing, because surely at least eleven of these twelve clubs — we’re not told whether Essendon is one of the twelve — will be ruled out of the 2014 Final Series and the first two rounds of the 2015 National Draft.

And while we’re at it, where’s the self-appointed warrior priestess for truth, Caroline Wilson? Why isn’t her byline on this report? Why isn’t she calling for the heads of the twelve coaches, twelve Presidents and twelve CEOs?

The Chief Executive of the AFL and the Chairman of the AFL Commission must surely be considering standing down for their failure to foresee these problems and ensure proper governance procedures were in place.

Surely?

Really looking forward to the karma bus pulling up at AFL Headquarters.

Un-bleeping-believable.

As a season that has been traumatic for a Bombers fan draws to a close, AussieRulesBlog maintained our recent policy of tuning in to the Brownlow Medal count once around mid-way, and then again at the conclusion.

We joined midway through the round 23 count, just in time to see Dane Swan, and then Joel Selwood, relegated to the minor placings when the last best-on-ground vote of the season was awarded to Gary Ablett.

A quick glance at the results for round 23 shows that the Barcodes played the Kangaroos on Sunday afternoon in the second-last game of the home and away rounds. But this was the third-last game read out by Vlad and Dane Swan was eliminated as a winning chance.

Geelong played the Lions in the third game of the round, on Saturday afternoon, but Vlad read these votes out second-last. Selwood retained a two-vote lead over Ablett at this point.

The Suns played the Giants in the third-last game of the round, early Sunday afternoon, but these were the last votes read out. Ablett, with a best-on-ground, is awarded the Brownlow Medal by a margin of one vote.

There’s no doubt this was great theatre, but there are some troubling aspects.

Traditionally, Brownlow Medal votes were cast by the umpires and the sealed envelopes stored under security until the night of the count. The votes were read out in the order they were cast. Had this practice been followed, Ablett would have been the winner after the votes for the second last game — Barcodes v Kangaroos — were read out.

For the AFL to know to read out the votes in the order they did — and with Vlad’s pathetic impression of commercial television’s tension-building pause — one of two things had to happen.

The first, and most troubling, possibility is that all the votes had been tallied in full before the televised count. Call us conspiracy theorists — and we’ve got plenty of evidence from this year — but this scenario allows the possibility for the voting and the count to be altered to suit the AFL’s agenda.

The second possibility is that someone has done a very fast scan of the votes in the break between the last and second-last rounds and determined the order of games for maximum theatrical effect. Not as troubling, but too much theatre and not enough tradition and (relative) transparency.

It’s an important award. Too important to be sullied by a confected count.

AussieRulesBlog ventured to the MCG last night to take in the spectacular Preliminary Final clash between the Hawks and the Cats. It was a wonderful game, not even spoiled by the screaming banshees sitting behind us who maintained a manic cheering for the Hawks from first bounce to last. At least whoever has the misfortune to live with them won’t be listening to them today — there’s no way they’d be able to raise even a whisper after last night’s effort.

As a disinterested observer, we noticed two video review incidents that showed the potential for a properly-implemented system and a mis-use of the system as blatant as we can remember.

First to the good. The ball flew goalward and a defender leapt and tapped the ball at full stretch. It was a heroic effort, but the goal line camera clearly showed the ball had completely crossed the line before being touched. This is how the system works when it is properly resourced.

Now, unfortunately, to the bad. It will seem strange that we say this video review did enable the correct decision to be made. A ball popped off a boot in a contest near the boundary line and was signalled out of bounds on the full by the boundary umpire. Correct. But then we went to a video review! Incorrect!

When this half-baked system was introduced, the departed and unlamented Adrian Anderson told us it was a goal line video review system. Never mind that it was improperly resourced for the task. The Giesch’s mob have happily called for its use for all sorts of things since. Was a ball touched off the boot, was a ball correctly kicked by foot or did it roll off a knee or thigh, and so on.

Through the AFL, we in the football community pay umpires to be sharp-eyed and observant and to make decisions based on what they see. AussieRulesBlog can understand there will be times when the umpire is unsure, and where there’s a fixed and definite parameter — such as a the goal line — there are opportunities to use technology to assist.

But we remain of the opinion, reinforced by the experience of video review thus far in AFL, that reviews should only be called upon where the goal umpire is seriously unsighted or countermanded by another official. Let our umpires do the work for which they’re paid. We’re pretty sure they’re not keen on cherry-picking just the easy decisions, and the football community has to have faith that they are doing the job impartially and to the highest standard.

AussieRulesBlog was surprised this morning to see a teaser on The Age's online homepage for a report on Sean Wellman leaving Essendon .

Despite the report not mentioning supplements or syringes, it seems The Age has assigned the Bombers a new logo.