Shock! AFL Fixture Unfair!

This time of year we wait for the inevitable pronouncements about the unfairness of the AFL’s fixture. Whether it be home games versus away games, number of interstate trips, night versus day games, six day breaks and so on, there’s seemingly no end to the ‘problems’.

 

But wait, Aussie Rules is played with an elliptical ball that bounces unpredictably — just ask Stephen Milne on (first) Grand Final day 2010. Unfair! We must use a round ball that moves predictably.

 

There are a limited number of weekends for stadium availability, and so an uneven number of meetings/return meetings between all teams. Unfair! Disband a third of the competition and revert to a twelve team competition playing each other twice each season on suburban grounds.

 

Players get injured in physical clashes and their teams founder — just ask Andrew Carrazzo last year. Unfair! The season must be put on hold until all clubs can field their strongest possible team.

 

Some games are played indoors in perfect conditions and some on cold, wet, wintery nights that reduce scoring potential. The influence on teams’ percentages is — you guessed it — unfair! All games must be played at the same venue at the same time so that no team is advantaged by better conditions. . .

 

And so on.

 

Of course the four scenarios presented are part and parcel of the national competition that lives and breathes on broadcast advertisers’ access to markets.

 

On the other hand, it’s unfair, for Melbourne, that Jack Watts doesn’t wear his underpants on the outside and might turn out to be only human.

 

It’s unfair, for Hawthorn, that Lance Franklin has a crucial flaw in his game that seriously reduces his effectiveness.

 

It’s unfair to everyone for various reasons that the Blues, the Barcodes and the Bombers all play each other twice each year, but those mammoth attendances and huge ratings put a pretty hefty dent in the AFL’s expenses.

 

The AFL could fixture Freo to play the Giants twice in prime time and tragics like AussieRulesBlog would watch it both times, but we’d have to tell all of our acquaintances what happened, because they wouldn’t be watching.

 

Of course the [bleeping] fixture is unfair. Life is unfair! Get over it, and get on with it.