Interesting to note that the AFL is searching for a general manager of fan development and customer acquisition.

The AFL mention, from time to time, that fans are important and there are occasional surveys which have the sniff of quieting the murmur of discontent about them. But a general manager of fan development? That's a new tack.

As a fan, AussieRulesBlog doesn't feel like we need development and we're already a dedicated fan, so we don't need acquiring. So, what might this new role look to?

Not altogether surprisingly, we have a couple of ideas on the matter.

Fan education
The fans that surround AussieRulesBlog most weeks at the footy have a pretty tenuous grasp on the rules of the game. The demented howl of "Baaaallllllllll!!!!!!!" the moment a player is tackled is as clear a demonstration as any that we're not selling the crowd short.

To be fair, many media callers and commentators, who should be very well informed on the rules of the game, make some howlers of comments, so a lot of the time the crowd aren't being shown a very high bar to aspire to.

Providing rulebooks to fans is not going to cut the mustard. A YouTube AFL channel with videos describing how rules are to be umpired would be a good start. And then advertise it to within an inch of its life. Eventually some of the great unwashed will beging to understand. This strategy would also do a helluva lot for umpire appreciation!

Fan information
We've mentioned this one before, but these days there are many things happening on the field that fans at the stadium are simply left to wonder about. As just about any AFL telecast will illustrate, decisions against a team induce an almost demonic fury amongst some of its supporters. When Mr Justice McBurney swans in and pays a free kick for some pathetic acting performance 100 metres or more away from the ball, the rage is raised to a whole new level.

When every AFL venue now includes a huge video-screen-come-scoreboard, scoreboard announcements would seem to be an easy way to inform everyone at the stadium. Someone could monitor the umpires' audio feed and type a précised version of the decision onto the scoreboard. For example, "50m penalty, high contact #9 on #23". Seeing that, everyone at the stadium knows where the decision has come from, and why. We may still disagree with it, loudly, but we're not caught wondering (and thinking the worst).

Fans' hip pockets
We wonder when was the last time that Vlad or a Commissioner — or a club President — bought a pie, some chips and a beer at the footy. Do they know that you need a new mortgage to feed an average family? Do the caterers have to make their entire profit for their world operations from their AFL operations? They're certainly not paying top dollar for their staff. Catering outlets are often object lessons in disorganised chaos, so there aren't too many time and motion studies being completed.

So where does the money go? A mass-produced, cardboard-like pie that dreams of being close to a piece of meat costs nearly twice as much as its artisan look-alike at a cake shop. Where are the gold cups for our beer? Surely we're entitled to them given the price we pay? And don't start on the price of WATER! Bottled water is already scandalous and the normal price of bottled water would make Dick Turpin blush, but at the footy?

So, there you go, Mr General Manager of Fan Development. There's a few things to be getting on with.

Rejoinders that most Barcodes’ supporters are beetle-browed Neanderthals (see the comments on the linked article) do little to advance progress to a more respectful and courteous atmosphere at Aussie Rules games. Credit where credit is due — Eddie Everywhere is putting the Magpie shoulder to the wheel in the quest for better behaved crowds.

AussieRulesBlog has a rule of thumb which proposes that the value of a fan’s opinions is in inverse proportion to the volume at which they are broadcast. We can’t remember having to revise our rule and its application certainly isn’t restricted to the monocular black and white army. Sadly there are a good number of fellow Bombers fans who demonstrate the paucity of their understanding and wit on a too-regular basis.

The sad truth is that there are knuckle-draggers in every club’s supporter base who make a trip to the footy an uncomfortable experience. For most of the rest of us, the prospect of chipping a (possibly drunken) lout carries more physical risk than we’re willing to undertake, and that is, in itself, part of the problem. We generally avoid confrontation, and so loudmouths get a free ride. No-one pulls them up and tells them to pull their heads in and so their behaviour is validated (at least in what passes for their minds).

Will Nathan Buckley on a video screen exhorting these pea brains to exercise common courtesy make a difference? Highly unlikely. Perhaps the only way to weed them out is for the AFL to employ well-disguised brawlers as ‘mystery patrons’ — akin to mystery shoppers who anonymously check out customer service in stores — to identify and sanction boorish loudmouths.

First target is the Bomber fan on level three at Essendon away games at Docklands who monotonously refers to the umpires as “scumbags” in the loudest voice he can muster. “Boorish”, “loudmouth” and “pea brain” are his good qualities.

Yesterday at the ’G, AussieRulesBlog sat down next to a guy wearing a Barcodes scarf.

As the game began and the other Barcodes fans around us began their routine abuse of any free kick against the Barcodes, any perceived free kick for the Barcodes that wasn’t paid and any other perceived injustice against the Barcodes, the chap beside us began his own quietly-spoken response to each new round of invective.

“Idiots! That’s not a free kick!” “Learn the rules! That’s not holding the ball!” and so on.

At quarter time. we turned to him and noted that he was destroying many of our fondest prejudices. Behind his wraparound Raybans he had two working eyes. Quite remarkable! While obviously passionate about his team, not only did he perceive the faults of his own tribe, but he willingly praised the best efforts of the Bombers — and there were plenty in that first half.

At the end of the game, after the expected — but, pleasingly, delayed — opening of the Barcodes’ floodgates, we thanked him for the chat and shook his hand, wishing him good luck for the finals.

The overwhelming majority of fans watching a game can’t see anything other than through the lens of their team’s success. It’s such a surprise to come up against a discriminating, intelligent and knowledgeable fan.

Thank you, sir, wherever you are, for one of the most enjoyable afternoons of AFL we have experienced in a very long time.